Being the oldest in a family of over half a dozen children means you have a different mind-set to those that are younger. Looking out for them is one thing but taking the blame is quite another.
I re-call one of my sisters being the age of 5 and I myself was 10. She had done some minuscule thing that I took offense to and went with the drama to my mother. Of course it was noted that I was twice her age. Ah, the responsibility of being the eldest!
So with age that never catches up you are always in the responsible position growing up - never able to be relaxed from that? Or can you be? Does God want you to finally learn that the responsibility is His and you had been taught all along to take more on your young shoulders than ever ought to be? There is Freedom in that! If we aren't taught to put God first in our lives we bear the brunt - more than we normally would sadly. It broke my shoulders - trying to bear the burden of what "I had to do" or was taught to do.
Once my mother had to go quickly out of the house with one of my younger siblings. I thought "I wil help my mum". I somehow got the wood stove started. I put a whole half or whole cabbage in a pot and there - I had dinner ready. I was a responsible person very early on. Grin - mum got back just in time to save the "whole cabbage".
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